This house no longer feels like home
by Skovko
Summary: Dean comes clean about his affair with Sasha and leaves his girlfriend Courtney broken on the kitchen floor. Late that night Roman finds out what has happened and he drives straight to their home to check up on her. He always knew Dean didn't deserve her and that she deserved way better than Dean. (Inspired by Nikisha Reyes-Pile's song "So Cold".)
1. When he leaves

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting. Tears and anger for sure but this... not this. She was practucally begging him not to leave. For a while his eyes had wandered else where and soon his mouth had started roaming on his new obsession as well, followed by his greedy hands and dick. He had spent more nights away from home, getting home later and later in the mornings, and it came as a surprise that she was still fighting, not willing to let him go, acting as if she hadn't known about his affair.

"Dean, please!" She begged.  
"Come on, Courtney, it has been over for a long time between us. We just haven't said it out loud," he said.  
"Please!" She begged even harder.

She grabbed his arm with both hands, one final desperate act, hoping to hold him back. He shook his arm to make her let go and she felt her entire body give up, her feet disappearing from underneath her, as she crashed down on the cold kitchen floor, sobbing, aching, hurting like never before.

"Look, Courtney, it's not like I'm kicking you out of the house or anything. You can stay here for as long as you will. Maybe we can even figure out you buying it from me at some point if you want to. I'm gonna stay with Sasha anyway," he said.

The sound of the other woman's name made her sob even louder. He just rolled his eyes at her, thinking to himself what a dramaqueen she was. Not knowing what else to say or do, he had spoken his mind and was more than ready to leave, he just turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Through wet eyes she watched from the floor how his boots left the room, then the sound of the front door opening and closing, the sound of his car starting and driving away, and then nothing but her own sobs as she laid broken on the floor.

She had no idea how many hours she had laid on the floor. It had gotten dark outside and since he left in the middle of the afternoon, it had been a fair amount of time. At some point her crying had stopped. There simply wasn't anymore tears left inside her. She had just laid there in the same position as he had left her in, watching the wall, not knowing how to pick herself up.

Somewhere in the distance her mind did register the sound of the front door opening and closing but she couldn't react on it at all. She felt numb. She heard fast footsteps going through the house, almost running, as if someone was searching for something. The footsteps entered the kitchen and Roman's voice broke the silence.

"Jesus, Courtney," he said as he walked over to her.

She felt his arms wrap themselves around her and he lifted her up. He didn't even try and make her stand to see if she could walk for herself. He just held her in his arms as he moved her out of the kitchen.

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch," he muttered as he carried her towards the bedroom.

He gently placed her on the bed and stroked his hand through her hair once. He got out of his jacket and boots before laying down next to her, pulling her up on his arm and chest, holding her tightly, rocking her gently, hearing how her tears slowly started again.

"Ssh," he said softly as he tried comforting her.  
"What time is it?" She asked through her tears.  
"It's late. Like 3.30 or there about," he answered.  
"Why do you show up in the middle of the night?" She asked.  
"That's not important. Try and get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere," he said.

It wasn't like he wanted to keep it a secret from her. He just didn't think she would want to hear Dean's name or anything about him right in that moment. He knew it would only hurt her to know that Roman had met Dean and Sasha that night in a bar and that Dean proudly had presented Sasha as his new girlfriend. When he had asked about Courtney, Dean had laughed and said that she was probably still washing the kitchen floor with her tears. Ten minutes after that statement, Roman had found himself in his car, driving towards what used to be Dean and Courtney's home to check up on her. He always knew Dean didn't deserve her and that she deserved so much better than Dean. Now Dean had finally proved him right.


	2. When he's gone

Four hours. The short amount of time she slept that night in his arms. He never left her side or even went to sleep himself. He wanted to be there for her, to make sure she was alright. Dean might have broken her heart but he was right there ready to pick up the pieces. When she woke up, he just hugged her at first before finally convincing her to get out of bed and take a shower. While she was in the bathroom, he changed the sheets on the bed. Anything to get rid off as much of Dean as he could for her, starting with his scent in the bed.

Two days. The amount of time it took for her to finally start eating without him having to use friendly force to get something in her system. He made sure to keep it simple and serve whatever he knew she liked, spoiling her as much as he could.

Nine days. The amount of time it took before she suddenly smiled again. She didn't just smile. She laughed. He had been outside after a heavy snowstorm that night to shovel the snow in the driveway and he had slipped and fell on his ass. She had been coming out of the house with two cups of hot chocolate and the sight of him falling like that had her laughing so much that she dropped the cups, colouring the snow next to the front door in an ugly brown colour. The sound of her laughter was enough for him to push the pain away and get back up, walking to her to hug her tight, lifting her up and teasing her back for laughing at him.

Six weeks. The amount of time that had passed since Dean left the house to go live with Sasha. She hadn't heard from him since but she hadn't reached out to him either. She wanted to in the beginning but Roman had taken her phone away, refusing to let her sink that low. Of course she should work through her pain and heartbreak but trying to contact Dean wouldn't help her at all.

One year and eight months. The amount of time that had passed since both Roman and Dean met her the first time in a local bar. Roman had noticed her first, feeling completely drawn in by her sweet smile. He had been sitting back, secretly watching her, smiling at her every time their eyes would meet, and of course Dean had suddenly jumped up and walked towards her without warning. That night she left with Dean, and Roman had never told anyone how jealous he had felt. One year and eight months. The amount of time Roman had been in love with her without telling anyone, and also the amount of time Dean had gone from being Roman's best friend to someone he could barely stand to look at but he stayed around just so he could be close to her.

But here they were, six weeks after the break up, and she seemed to be coping good. He came by everyday, even spending the night often, but nothing but friendship had been between them. He didn't dare cross the line, not when she was hurting like she was. He hadn't told Dean he came by his house everyday and he wasn't planning to.

"What do you wanna do today? Maybe go shopping for some items, make the house more your home?" He asked.  
"Home?" She sighed and laughed. "Do you know Dean actually talked about I could buy it from him?" She asked.  
"You want to?" He asked.  
"Even if I could raise the money, no. This doesn't feel like home anymore," she said.  
"So make a new home," he suggested.  
"How?" She asked.  
"Find a new place and move in. Don't worry about the money. I'll help you," he said.  
"I couldn't," she said.  
"Yes, you can and you will. Find an apartment and I'll lend you the money. I'll even help you move," he said and smiled.

She smiled back at him and he took her hand to assure her he was there for her.

"Let's go out tonight and get drunk, maybe pick up some people to fool around with," she said.  
"That's not my thing," he said.  
"What is your thing? I never see you with any girls. Let's go have some fun and just get completely wasted," she said.  
"We can get wasted here where I can actually keep my eyes on you so you don't go doing something you'll regret," he said.  
"Okay, so let's order pizza and see if the delivery guy is hot and wants a threesome," she said jokingly.  
"Oh, you'd like that, huh?" He chuckled as he attacked her on the couch.

She was laughing as he got on top of her, trying to fight him as he too laughed and tried holding her hands locked above her head. He looked down at her and the look in her eyes made him suck in his breath. She was stunning. He didn't know what took over but he bowed his head down and kissed her. He let go off her hands and when she buried her fingers into his hair, he finally got a hold on reality. He broke the kiss and sat back up as he was feeling guilty.

"Shit!" He hissed. "I'm sorry, Courtney. I shouldn't have. I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

She pushed herself up without a word, crawled up on his lap to straddle him and put her arms around his neck. She leaned in close to kiss him again but he grabbed her arms and stopped her just in time and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Courtney..." He whispered.  
"Please, Roman, I... just... please," she said lowly.  
"If I kiss you now, I'm not gonna be able to stop," he warned her.  
"I don't want you to stop," she said and smiled.

That little smile was all it took for him to stop thinking and start acting instead. He wrapped his arms around her lower back and pulled her close while his lips found hers again in a heated kiss. For a little while they sat like that but when she reached her hands between them to open his pants, he grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms away. He refused to fuck her on a couch the first time. He wanted it to be a bit more special and even though the bed she had shared with Dean wasn't the most optimal place either, it sure beat the couch.

He held on tight to her with one arm as he used the other one to push them both up from the couch. She giggled against his lips as she felt him lift her up and carry her out of the livingroom and into the bedroom. He slowly lowered her down on the bed, following her body as she went down, attacking her lips again as his hands slowly started roaming down her body to undress her.

He tried not to rush it, he really did, but after being in love with her for so long and finally having her where he had always dreamed of, he couldn't slow down. Piece by piece her clothes landed on the floor and his own followed shortly after. Instead he took his time as his lips and tongue moved around her body, kissing and tasting every little part of her, saving what he thought was his special prize for last.

So many times he had imagined her moaning to the feel of his tongue against her clit as his fingers moved inside her but his imagination was nothing compared to reality. She sounded better, tasted better, moved better than he had ever been able to imagine, and when she finally let go, moaning his name as he sent her over the edge, he felt like everything was perfect, like everything was the way it was always supposed to be.

He kissed his way up her body again, gently tugging on her nipples with his teeth, making her moan out little sounds again that made him smile against her skin as he continued up to capture her lips again.

She wrapped her legs around him, silently inviting him inside as she held on tight to him while still kissing him. He took the hint and started pushing himself inside her. Once again it felt better than he could ever have imagined and every thought about taking it slow went out the window once he was fully inside. He sped up little by little with each moan he drew from her lips and she didn't seem to mind at all. Her eyes were closed as her nails went down his back and he made her moan louder and louder. Feeling her cum again while being inside her was better than any other woman before her and as he felt her squeeze him tightly, he couldn't hold back himself. With a growl he thrust in one last time and collapsed on top of her, chuckling against her neck while placing small kisses on it. It felt like he was home at last.


	3. When he comes back

"Morning sweetheart," he said and kissed her nose. "I know you're awake."  
"Sweetheart?" She asked as she opened her eyes.  
"Would you prefer something else? Baby girl? Honey? Sweet pea? Darling?" He looked at her and smiled before drawing his next word out. "Girlfriend?"

He immetiately regretted saying that when he saw the look on her face. It was too soon, he knew it, but for him it was anything but soon. He had waited one year and eight months for her but he knew it wasn't the same for her.

"I don't know," she said honestly.  
"I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say," he said.

He started moving out of bed but she grabbed his wrist and sat up next to him.

"I honestly don't know, Roman," she said.  
"It's okay," he said and leaned in to give her a quick kiss. "I'm not mad."

She sighed in relief and he got out of bed to put his clothes on.

"However, I will not be your rebound. If that was all last night was for you then please be honest and we'll stop it here. I won't go anywhere. I'll still be your friend," he said and buttoned his pants.

She didn't say anything. She just looked at him, waiting for him to keep talking. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to work up his courage to say what he wanted to say, what she needed to hear.

"Look, Courtney, I've been in love with you a very long time. Ever since we met actually. I never acted on it out of respect for you and Dean but now that we've crossed the line, I think you should know. So if you want a rebound, it's not me. I don't want you to wake up one morning three weeks down the road and tell me that it has been a fun ride but you're over it. I don't wanna get hurt," he said.

She took in every word he said and slowly nodded. She could understand that and she appreciated him being honest with her. She just never knew he felt that way about her and it was a lot to take in.

"Will you come back tonight?" She asked.  
"Do you want me to?" He asked.  
"Yeah, I'd like that. I can't give you the answer you need right now but I'd like to see you. I was thinking about making my famous spicy duck breasts," she said.  
"How can I ever say no to that?" He chuckled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "No pressure, alright? I'm always gonna be here no matter what you want."

She nodded against his lips and he kissed the top of her head one more time before walking out of the house to go to work.

The duck breasts were in the oven late that afternoon when she heard the front door open and close. With a smile on her face she turned around, expecting to see Roman. Her smile quickly disappeared as she came face to face with Dean.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.  
"I live here. It's my house," he answered as if he had never went away.  
"You said I could stay here," she said.  
"I'm not expecting you to leave. I'm home now," he said.

They both turned their heads as they heard the front door open and close and seconds later Roman came into the kitchen looking just as surprised to see Dean as Dean was to see him.

"What are you doing here?" Roman asked.  
"Why do everyone question me being in my own house? What are you doing here?" Dean fired back.  
"Just came by to drop off a book I borrowed from Courtney," Roman said, thinking on his feet. "Left my brain at work apparently since I forgot the book in the car."  
"Shit happens," Dean chuckled. "So how have you been, man? Haven't seen you for a while."  
"Things have been complicated. I met this girl and I thought we had something but now I'm not so sure anymore," Roman said as he looked at Courtney the whole time.  
"Tough luck," Dean said.  
"Yeah, tough. How about you and Sasha?" Roman asked, poking the bear on purpose.  
"That didn't work out. Bitch was too crazy. So now I'm back home," Dean said.

Roman nodded as he kept his eyes on her. She looked down, feeling oddly ashamed about the situation although she had no clue Dean would come home. Dean didn't seem to catch on that anything was going on between them. He sniffed up in the air and walked over to the oven to look inside.

"Your famous spicy duck breasts? Score! I chose the right day to come home, huh, babe?" He chuckled.

She cringed as she heard him call her babe. It had been a long time since she had last heard it and she wasn't so sure she actually liked hearing it anymore.

"I better go," Roman said.  
"Good luck with that girl. If she has any brain, she'll come around," Dean said.  
"I can only hope," Roman said and met Courtney's eyes one last time before leaving the house.

Once they heard the front door close behind Roman, Dean quickly cornered her up against the counter, placing his hands on either side of her, leaning forward to run his nose up her neck and up to her ear.

"So how about we take it to the bedroom and quickly make up before dinner?" He asked.  
"Dean, I..." She started but she had no clue what to say.

He started kissing her neck and she woke up, placing her hands on his shoulders to push him away.

"No!" She yelled. "You can't just walk back here like nothing ever happened! You left me, Dean! You left me for some bimbo and you fucking broke my heart!"'  
"And now I'm back," he said and gave her a sassy smile.  
"I'm not gonna spread my legs for you just because you choose to come back all of the sudden," she said.  
"Fine, we'll do it the girly way and talk about things. But first I'm gonna catch a shower," he said.

He started whistling as he walked out of the kitchen and out to the bathroom. Two minutes later she heard the water start running. She walked out of the kitchen too and stopped by the open bathroom door.

"So how have you been?" He asked from behind the shower curtain.  
"Do you really care?" She asked.  
"Sure, I do. Let's talk. That's what you want, right?" He said.  
"That's not what I want. I'm not even sure I want you anymore," she said.

He stuck his head out from the shower curtain, grinning at her, clearly not believing her. He blew her a kiss before disappearing behind the shower curtain again.

"Playing hard to get, eh? I can live with that. This might even be a bit of fun before we end up in bed later," he said.

She shook her head, surprised that she ever felt anything for him. Her eyes widened as soon as she had finished that thought. Everything was suddenly so clear to her. She didn't need this. She didn't need him.

"I don't love you anymore," she said lowly.  
"What was that?" He asked, clearly he hadn't heard her.  
"I don't love you anymore," she spoke up.

She heard him laugh from behind the shower curtain and then he started singing. She should feel angry with him for treating her like that, not listening and believing a word of what she said, but she felt nothing towards him. All anger and hate inside her had been transformed into warmer feelings towards someone else. As she slowly realized that she had fallen in love again over the last six weeks, she walked away from the bathroom and into the bedroom.

The water turned off 15 minutes later and shortly after Dean came walking into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He stopped in his tracks as he saw her zip up a bag with her clothes. Next to it another bag was, already packed and zipped.

"What are you doing?" He asked.  
"I'm leaving," she answered.  
"And go where?" He asked.  
"None of your business. You and I are done. Like you said when you left, we have been over for a long time, and you were right. It just took some time for me to see it. I needed someone to open my eyes," she said.  
"Who?" He asked.

The thought of Roman made her smile and she could see Dean's facial expression change into something she didn't like. He didn't have the right to know anything about her life anymore. She grabbed both bags and walked past him without a word. He followed her, not completely sure that she actually was gonna leave, but when she opened the front door to step outside, he finally realized that she wasn't playing. He grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Come on, babe. Don't leave like that. We can work things out," he said and sent her one of his sassy smiles that used to have her falling all over him.  
"Duck's burning," she said.  
"Huh?" He asked.

She nodded her head towards the kitchen and he turned his head as the smell of something being overcooked hit him. He ran out to the kitchen to open the oven and get the duck out. He heard the front door close and when he ran back in, she was gone.

She could have called Roman and made him pick her up but the fresh air did her good and she wanted to surprise him. It was a 20 minute walk to his house, and although her bags were heavy, she made the entire trip with a smile on her face. When she finally reached his house and knocked on the door, she came face to face with a very surprised Roman.

"I realized something," she said.  
"What?" He asked.  
"I'm in love with you too," she answered.

For a second she thought she had overstepped her boundaries as he just continued staring at her and then his face lit up into a huge smile. He laughed out loud as he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up, making her drop her bags in the process. When he finally put her back down, he leaned in to kiss her softly before allowing her inside and picking up her bags from the ground.

"So girlfriend has a nice ring to it," she said as he closed the door.  
"Yeah, that's my favourite too," he said as he dropped her bags on the floor and once again wrapped his arms around her. "Do you think you can make this house into a home or should we start searching for an apartment for you?"  
"We practually lived together the last six weeks. I think I can work with what you got here," she said and smiled.

He lifted her up again and carried her inside the bedroom. She laughed as he dumped her down on the bed and went on top of her, his lips finding the soft spot on her neck right away.

"Roman!" She gasped and laughed.  
"I'm just giving you the tour of the house, starting with the bedroom," he chuckled.  
"Best place of the house," she chuckled too.  
"Rain check on the duck breast though. I'm not letting you leave this bed today," he said.


End file.
